Can You Find A Place For My Daughter?

Posted: September 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

This morning at about 7:00 AM as I was pulling out of the driveway, I made eye contact with a woman, who with her daughter had been waiting to see me.  I have known this woman and her daughter for several years but it had been some months since I had seen them.

They first came into our lives about five years ago, when we received the, then, two-year old daughter into our crèche.  We did so on a trial basis as it was clear that this precious little girl was very much attached to her mother and we were unsure how she would do separated from her mother.

It didn’t take long for us to see that the daughter grieved terribly and missed her mom greatly.  It wasn’t our purpose to wear her down until she put her mother on the back shelf, so to speak.  So after two weeks we had the mom come and take her daughter back where she belonged.  We gave the mom a bit of money to begin a small business selling rice and beans outside the one room house where she lived.  But she was not able to make a go if it, yet as countless others here in Haiti, she inexplicably has been able to survive, albeit in abject poverty.

Getting out of the truck, I greeted the mom and her daughter and expected her to ask me if I would help send her daughter to school. I can’t count the times I have been asked that in the past several weeks.  The flow of people asking for such help intensifies as the first day of school draws closer.  It is heart wrenching to have to say, “I’m sorry, but I simply don’t have money to help you this time.”  This year school starts on October 1st.

The mom, though, had a different question for me.  She with her daughter standing next to her looked me in the face and said that life was too hard and then she asked if I could find a place for her daughter.  She couldn’t care for her any longer.  I immediately looked into the face of her seven-year old daughter and saw a sadness that hit me like a heat wave.  Inside I was screaming, “NO, NO, NO, THIS ISN’T FAIR.”        Outside I, not ready to deal with this, calmly asked her to come back and see me on Friday.  I need time to think and pray.

Of course we want the family to stay intact.  But how can this happen?  Where will the mom get the money and resources  to care for her family and to keep this her youngest child?

Some may in horror wonder how a mom could give her child away; she mustn’t love her some would say.  My experience, is that she in fact loves this child so much that she’s willing to give her up to someone who can provide for her, who can send her to school, who can give to her much of what the mom can’t give.    I wish money alone could solve this problem, but it can’t.  There is no short, quick, easy answer.

So often, if not daily, answers are hard to come by.  So we look to God for wisdom and insight into how we can help, how we can make a difference, how we can be the hands of Jesus to this mom and daughter.  We can’t help everyone but we must look to God on behalf of those that He allows into our lives.  Perhaps you can pray with me as I look to God for His will and direction, as Friday will soon be here.

John McHoul

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Comments
  1. michelle johnson says:

    i will pray.

  2. Carla says:

    Can these women be sponsored in some way?

  3. Patty Alley says:

    Praying John if we can do anything please let us know.

  4. Becky says:

    Heart wrenching…I will be praying.

  5. Dan Kramer says:

    Thank you for sharing, John. I will be praying.

  6. Larissa Boechat says:

    Mr. McHoul, this isn’t the first time I read Heartline’s blog, but it is the first time I leave a comment. I’m a reader of the Livesay’s blog and I’ll be praying for this lady, her daughter and to you. Hope God help you help them.

  7. Zaz says:

    My daughter is seven and Haitian-born. I have my own vivid picture in my mind of your conversation. I am so sad the mother has found herself in this situation. I can’t fathom the heartache. I will pray also.

  8. Becky says:

    Is it possible to pay for supplies so she can be in the sewing program?

  9. John, I will pray for wisdom, as you determine what you will do when you meet this woman again (this Friday?). I have been reading about you and your ministry (and the work of Beth and Tara and others in your gang) on and off since the quake. You guys are all awesome!

  10. Al and Sherra says:

    Our hearts break for you and this family. Praying for wisdom and blessings that only come from above.

  11. Melissa Mae says:

    I want to help if I can…. what does she need? What would help her provide for her family without hurting her in the process? Please contact me if you have a way that I can help.

  12. Robin Carter says:

    my heart breaks for this momma and her child. Amazing Love….I am praying …not exactly sure what for…but our God is a big God and he knows!

  13. Jessie Jade says:

    Josh and I will be praying too, John. This tugs at the heartstrings!

  14. Spencer Reeves says:

    Praying

  15. Amanda Peterson says:

    What would it take to sponsor her daughter’s education? Please contact me if we can help.

  16. Tammy S. says:

    John, you can add me to the list of people willing to help fund a solution for this mom. Maybe schooling for one (or more) of her children in exchange for her passing literacy class/getting a job/keeping a job? You are there, on the ground, and I believe He will lead you to an answer.

  17. Steph says:

    John, She clearly needs her mom. Could she go into the MDL girls home? We would gladly be a monthly sponsor for her & look for others. Would that be too far for her mom to visit?

    Stephanie Glick Sent from my iPhone

  18. Lori Huber says:

    I can only imagine with great sadness and grief how many times this has happened to you. I so appreciate you sharing this story with us. It immediately moves us to respond. I pray that as you use your wisdom and knowledge about the culture that a solution will be presented to you. If finances are part of the solution please make it known.

    • johnmchoul says:

      Met with the mom and daughter today. Should have a plan together within the next few days

      • Lori Huber says:

        Thank you for the update. I am no good at waiting patiently. Hah. I swear I was waiting for her myself all day yesterday. This one is heavy on my heart, just like the bread baking business – just won’t let go.

  19. Ginny Farr says:

    John, please, what happened with this mom and her daughter?

  20. Ginny Farr says:

    I will be looking forward to the update. Thanks for letting me know

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